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the (second) best meal of the day's Journal
Below are the 25 most recent journal entries.
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2005.12.26 17.59
jo refuses to talk to me.
lindsay and i aren't talking for a week in order to arrive at some sane place in our relationship before we see one another in january.
i wonder what it feels like to be in a healthy, functional relationship where both people are happy. i clearly would have nothing to write about on lj if that happened. well, maybe if i broke my leg or something i would break out of retirement.
i need to do a lot of thinking this break about where my life is going. i think i need to reach back to my angsty high school days and regain some of that intense existential searching.
merry christmas. seriously kids, be merry.
Mood: full
Music: u2-- all i want is you.
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2005.11.03 10.13
brookyln
god, i like her so much i don't know what to do with myself.
she's coming to visit in two weeks. and yes, i can barely contain myself.
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2005.08.09 14.19
I haven't been on my computer for four days and I only had 4 emails waiting for me.
I had my wisdom teeth pulled and I look like a chipmunk.
that is all.
Mood: swollen
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2005.06.09 13.10
i have shingles.
i self-diagnosed the rash on my back as poison oak and made an appointment with a random dermatologist to get some cream for it. he took one look at me and told me i had shingles. my body didn't like that news much and so i ran outside and threw up off a balcony. now i'm googling horrible photos of shingles on the internet and feeling terribly sorry for myself.
Mood: itchy
Music: this american life
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2005.05.08 12.57
remember my dears,
you may not do ok, but you'll be ok.
Mood: studying, writing, memorizing
Music: lori carson--something's got me
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2005.02.13 23.42
this is a shameless plea for sympathy.
squeamish beware.
i smashed my finger in the bathroom door at 4 this morning. it hurt so badly that i had to run back into the bathroom and hold my head over the toilet in case i threw up and at the same time try to fight off the brown swirling in front of my eyes and stay conscious. i lay on the bathroom floor for a solid fifteen minutes, sweating profusely and hyperventilating. my finger wasn't bleeding, but the skin was sickeningly flattened in perfect little door edge triangles, and the tip was totally numb. It was probably one of my most unpleasant life experiences.
jo drove me to the emergency room and of course we waited and waited and waited... i'll spare you all the details, but lets just say that the nurses were bitchy, the x-rays got lost and i lay in a curtained room between a woman with uncontrollable vomiting and a man who was having a catheter inserted. We didn’t get out of there until 10 am.
My finger isn’t broken, but i do have a couple of unimpressive looking butterfly stitches and a very sore arm where I got my tetanus shot. The tip of my finger is still numb, which I hope doesn’t mean some sort of permanent nerve damage, and I feel sick and exhausted. It seems weird that my body would react initially so violently to what ended up as simply a bruised and cut (and numb) finger. I assume that it’s my body’s way of deterring me from ever going to the bathroom in the middle of the night again.
Mood: estoy rendita
Music: none- roomate's sleeping
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2005.01.28 17.23
very interesting...
| You scored as Pisces. You get along best with the sign of Pisces. Although Pisceans can be very withdrawn, or hard to understand, they are extremely conscious individuals, and are very deep as well. Pisceans often have a very dry sense of humor. They are very mature (after all, they are the 'ELDERS of the Zodiac'), and are freakishly good at percieving the world around them, practically to the point of being 'psychic.' Few can understand the depths of these people, but the few who can remain close friends with Pisceans for a long time.
Pisces | | 80% | Gemini | | 75% | Aries | | 70% | Leo | | 65% | Cancer | | 65% | Libra | | 65% | Aquarius | | 65% | Sagittarius | | 60% | Virgo | | 45% | Scorpio | | 40% | Capricorn | | 35% | Taurus | | 30% | </td>
What sign of the Zodiac are you meant for?
created with QuizFarm.com |
Mood: just woke up
Music: badly drawn boy
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2005.01.23 12.57
the brooklyn bridge
i just found a backup disk from my old computer, full of my old high school essays. because i am feeling nostalgic today, here is one of my rejected college essays. i wrote this for my own sake, never intending to send it or even look at it again.
February 14, 2002. We take the subway down to the Brooklyn Bridge, two weeks into our term, smiling with linked arms, ready to “experience” the bridge. I step on the backs of Adrian’s shoes as we walk out of the subway, and he yells at me and i laugh. i run away as he walks behind me. here is our inspiration. we walk the length of the bridge with our shoes off, backwards. german tourists look at us strangely, ask us to take their picture. men on bicycles tell us to get out of their way. it is cold, and we smile and feel the wood beneath our feet. we listen to the bridge sing and we sing along, “feeling groovy,” even though that is the 59th street bridge song. on the subway ride back steven and i make up “the brooklyn bridge musical,” the show-stopper being “when you’re a bridge” to the tune of “when you’re a jet.”
i go back to our dorm that night and paint my shoes like the brooklyn bridge. i paint the city at the base and a stripe of grey below the skyline, the walkway down the tongues. they are beautiful. i write an essay and wear my shoes to class. when they ask, i explain that i want to carry the bridge with me. it is selfish, wanting a bridge all to myself.
May 16, 2002. Four days until the end of our term, the bridge’s 116th birthday. we are supposed to go back to the bridge, for the sake of framing, i have packed my painted shoes in my backpack to wear on the bridge, for the first time. instead we end up at central park. there are warnings of terrorist attacks, and we choose safety over nostalgia. we sit quietly on the great lawn and try not to think about irony.
August 17, 2002. It is my seventeenth birthday, and i drag my parents into the city for the day. it is unbearably hot, and we walk slowly through the brooklyn botanical gardens, enjoying the shade. neither of my parents have walked the bridge, and so we start from the brooklyn end, looking the grey sky, willing it to rain. halfway across the rain starts, and we watch the thermometer next to the watchtower sign drop ten degrees. at first it is a relief, but then the rain gets miserable and cold, and we head for one of the pillars. we stand under the arch with twenty-five other people. we watch the rain come down around us, standing close together, not really strangers after all, feeling safe and laughing.
December 1, 2002. it has been almost five months since i left cityterm, and i still feel the loss in the pit of my stomach. i can’t remember any of the songs we made up any more, can’t even remember the bridge’s birthday without looking it up. i still haven’t worn my shoes on the bridge, the paint is wearing off, and i don’t wear them much anymore. but i imagine that the day will come when i will go back into the city, ride the subway alone down to the brooklyn bridge stop, and walk the length of the bridge in my special shoes. and at that moment, things will be perfectly balanced, while i carry the bridge and it carries me.
Mood: warm
Music: ella and louis again
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2005.01.22 23.40
i brag to all of my friends about california weather, but secretly i yearn for hats and scarves and snow.
if i were home i would go for a midnight walk in the blizzard. the lights of the city reflect off of the clouds and snow and everything turns everything yellow pink.
i miss new england.
Mood: drunk
Music: fountains of wayne--valley winter song
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2004.10.10 16.47
amendment
and yet again things cease to work out for me.
i think i might have to swear off romance for a little while. or perhaps i'll have to swear off writing about it in my lj in order to prevent being cursed.
i wish i could go home for fall break.
Mood: sad
Music: indigo girls-nashville
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2004.10.08 21.31
at last, a new entry.
tonight i'm feeling tired and anti-social and have decided to forgo the usual friday night insanity. i don't know how people can party so hard on fridays--all i usually want to do is go to sleep. can't they have sleeping parties?
i went on a date last night. i asked her and she said yes, and last night we went to this little tappas restaurant in claremont. we drank sangria and ate paper thin slices of manchego and egg and potato tortilla, and laughed at the spanish kitsch. we walked and talked and sat by a fountain under a flowering tree and watched leaves spin in the water. i kissed her and we held hands on the walk back to the dorm.
it was so perfect and so sweet and uncomplicated.
Mood: quiet
Music: rachel's fan, people yelling
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2004.09.14 00.31
...and she has a girlfriend and was "just joking" when she was hitting on me.
i hate college.
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2004.09.13 01.05
a girl hit on me today shamlessly.
i love college.
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2004.09.12 12.12
Birthdays!
Happy birthday to Adrian! (one day late, don't hate me). In honor of your birthday I slept late, did homework, and got drunk off of tang and vodka.
and Happy today Birthday to Bec! In honor of your birthday I got up early, did my spanish homework, and will now go eat ice cream for BRUNCH.
Happy Birthdays!
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2004.06.13 18.26
beth likes raw potato. she doesn't believe me that without her nose apples, potatos, and onions would all taste the same. we're going to to a noseless taste test later tonight.
she brought me to a house that was picked up in kansas in 1950 by a twister and dropped in wilton connecticut in 2004. kitchy doesn't even begin to describe this place. they even have two toto dogs because, as the needlepoint wallhanging says: "a home without a cairn (toto dog) is just a house." i am glad i live in a house.
then i did my best rabbit impression and ran around with joe the gay ex-racing greyhound wonder dog.
trivia for all of you: beth likes rolls that aren't pre-cut because the cut area on pre-cut bread isn't "fresh enough."
the ants in her backyard are strong enough to carry sesame seeds over long distances. if an ant were person sized, would a sesame seed weigh as much as a car?
i'm having a fabulous time. how are you?
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2004.04.30 22.21
yesterday, today
yesterday i woke up at 7 and mediated a dispute between two middle school girls. it was my first mediation in eight months and i was nervous. it was rocky in the beginning, but by the end it was a love fest, hugs all around. i'd like to think that i've created one more small pocket of peace in the world.
i spent the rest of the day wandering around town, sitting in koffee?, the local college coffee joint, drinking iced coffee and knitting while tim did some linguistics program on his laptop. he took long breaks and complained about his computer while i took secret videos of him with my new digital camera. for lunch i bought a burrito from 'the whole enchilada' cart. i flirted shamlessly with the 15 year old working there and got extra guacamole as a result.
the weather in new haven is beautiful. my parents have taken down the storm windows and put in the screens. all the trees exploded with new yellow green leaves over night, and all the flowering trees are bright pink and white.
i drove past the court house this morning and there was a bomb scare going on or something, and everyone was spilling out into the streets in their uncomfortable business suits looking positively thrilled; it was the kind of bright beautiful day where you thank god for bomb threats.
tim's computer has been making these weird, whining dinosaur noises. any thoughts on what might be the cause...?
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2004.04.22 16.52
i bought myself a digital camera! and it makes me so happy that i can only speak in exclamatory sentences!
that's all!
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2004.04.21 22.49
so why am i still up?
i don't know why i'm updating when i have nothing particularly interesting to say.
i might be getting an internship this summer doing some sort of government thing.
i went up to see my grandparents in maine for the past few days. my brother and i played frizbee and baseball on the beach for hours. it was beautiful.
i am thinking about buying a digital camera: the canon sd110 sureshot. i found a place that's selling it for $260. any thoughts?
i desperately want to buy the second season of the office on dvd but am too poor to pay for it. especially if i buy a digital camera.
i have to babysit for two notoriously impossible kids tomorrow. and the next day.
i drove for two and a half hours straight today. i feel much more comfortable driving now, but i still get completely zoned out when i'm on the high way, and it makes me exhausted.
i tried to create a membership at a video store down the street, and to become a member i needed my drivers licence and my social security card or a credit card or a 20$ cash deposit for every movie. and a urine sample and two notarized statements of reference.
i watched dave chapelle's comedy show today. he is truly hysterical.
so. how are you?
ps. angelrachel, drop me an email when you get a chance.
Mood: slightly drunk
Music: hummm
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brunch's journal